


A Blind Path Home

by imamotherfuckingstarlord



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America, Marvel, Steve Rogers - Fandom, marvel fanfic - Fandom
Genre: Captain America - Freeform, F/M, Hydra, Marvel - Freeform, steve rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-14 08:17:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11779095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imamotherfuckingstarlord/pseuds/imamotherfuckingstarlord
Summary: It started with a blind date. A date you had skipped out on, but fate had led you right to the man you stood up. Steve Rogers, a man small in stature but big in heart. A chance meeting set everything in motion, but decades later when he is unfrozen, he has been told you have died. But when a mission to retrieve Hydra plans turned up some interesting information, Steve’s left to wonder whether you are still alive. Or is this all just false hope?





	1. Chapter 1

The air was cold and dampened as the group infiltrated the small Hydra bunker. Their recon mission was to retrieve Hydra’s plans for a new facility that was to be built somewhere in Bulgaria. Steve ordered a quick sweep of the place, each one of them taking a different room. Bucky had gone into the room to the right of him and immediately came face to face with a small- framed man, who threw his hands up in the air. Bucky grabbed him by the throat and pushed him down on a chair. Seeing the man in a Hydra facility only fueled the pent up anger in Bucky. He squeezed his titanium hand tighter around the man’s throat, the inner ruthless soldier within him starting to come out.  
“Please!” the man croaked out desperately, his hands thrashed against Bucky’s chest. “I-I have vital information.”  
Bucky grunted and squeezed harder, “What do you know?”  
“Y/N Rogers, I know where she is.”  
The Winter Soldier’s eyes went wide as he let the man fall to the ground, watching the man as he rubbed his throat to soothe the bruises that were forming. Bucky yelled out to Steve, who was in another room interrogating a Hydra personnel.  
“What it is, Buck?” He called out.  
Bucky yelled his name again, his voice weak and tight, the feeling of uneasiness growing in the pit of his stomach. Immediately, Steve ran into the room and looked at Bucky’s pale face and the gasping man on the ground. Steve hesitated as he walked closer, afraid Bucky had taken it too far and now was in distress.  
“Are you okay?” Steve asked with a look of compassion taking over his normal, stern look.  
"Tell him,” Bucky growled, looking down at the frightened looking man on the floor. But the man stayed silent, so Bucky grabbed him roughly by the arm and hoisted him up. “Tell him, now.”  
The threat in Bucky voice was all the encouragement the man needed. He cleared his throat and looked up at Steve, opening his mouth to say the words not even Captain America would be prepared for. “I know where your wife is.”  
Steve glared into the man’s eyes,chest heaving up and down.  
“Yeah, I do too,” Steve’s eyes flickered to his friend’s and back to the man. “She’s buried in Green-Wood Cemetery, Brooklyn, New York. I bring her favorite flowers to her, purple tulips every Sunday." He does his best to keep his voice from trembling and to mask the pain he felt, the pain that kept him awake almost every night.  
"No, she was never buried there,” the man stated. “She’s alive, you’ve been wasting your Sundays, bringing flowers to an empty grave.”  
Bucky grabbed Steve by the shoulder as the he lunged at the man. “Steve,” he said calmly, trying to get his friend’s attention.  
“He’s lying!” Steve yelled at Bucky, his hand reaching for the man’s throat, but a metal hand held Steve back from the man who was cowering back.  
“You go sit in the next room, do not move a damn muscle.“  
Steve watched as Bucky spoke into his comm, telling Natasha to make sure the man didn’t leave her sight. She questioned why, but Bucky just groaned and told her, "Just do it, we need him.”  
Bucky released his grip from Steve’s shoulder and sighed, “What do you think?”  
“Come on, Buck. He’s lying, Y/N is- she’s gone,” Steve resigned with his eyes closed. He could still picture the day the two of you met, one of Bucky’s double dates fiascos back in 1940.  
__  
.... “Chin up, kid,” Buck patted Steve’s back. “She’s going to like you.”  
“I’ll be glad if she just doesn’t run away,” Steve tucked his hands into his trousers pockets.  
“She’s a real fool if she doesn’t like you,” Bucky smiled at his friend. “Let’s go, don’t want to keep the girls waiting.”  
....  
“I don’t want to do this, Rose,” you complained slowing down behind your friend, her brown locks bounced as she halted and turned to you. “Don’t you dare back out now, Y/N!”  
“I’m sorry, I just can’t,” you held up your hands in defeat. “Tell this Bucky guy I’m sorry, his friend too.” You spun around and walked toward the subway. Rose called out your name but you kept walking.  
“I’m sorry Steve, she wasn’t feeling well,” Rose said sympathetically.  
Steve smiled softly and shrugged. “It’s not because she saw me, is it?”  
“No! Honest! She sends her apologies,” Rose insisted bringing a hand to Steve’s shoulder before looking to Bucky. “We can arrange this for another time.”  
Steve watched Bucky’s face drop but quickly recover, “Yeah, sounds good.”  
“No, you two go on. I’m going to head home,” Steve urged the pair but Bucky hesitated.  
“Sorry Rose, how about tomorrow night? Me and you, doll?”  
Rose smiled widely, “It’s a date, I better go check on Y/N. See you fellas.”  
The two men watched Rose stroll off, Steve smiled to himself, “Y/N’s a nice name.”  
“She sounds like a damn fool, if she passed up a date with you. Come on kid, let’s go watch a movie.”  
You were taking the trash out from the bakery where you worked. It was the last duty of your shift. You wanted to go home, but as soon as you stepped foot in the alley behind the bakery; you knew trouble was brewing. A young man was leaned against the opposite wall, smoking a cigarette. Eyes watched you as you disposed of the trash. You held your breathe, hoping to go unaccosted. Throwing the trash in the bin, you quickly turned to head back through the bakery’s back exit, but two pair of hands grabbed at you.  
“Come here, beautiful,” the man’s voice was deep, gravely, and filled with venom. You tried to scream but he clapped his hand over your mouth. “Oh come on. Be nice.”  
He pushed you up against a wall, as you tried to fight him off. You kicked his shins, causing him to jerk back.  
“Get away from me!” You screamed edging toward the door, but he lunged at you.  
“HEY! LEAVE HER ALONE!”  
A man’s voice grabbed your attention, it was a small-framed fella. His fist up in the air, as though he was ready to fight. Your heart dropped, afraid your assailant would hurt the fragile looking man.  
“Mind your own business, kid,” the man yelled, moving toward you once again. You stepped backwards into the trash bin, your eyes flickered to the blond man. His eyes were filled with confidence as he stepped toward the other man.  
“Leave the lady alone,” he demanded.  
“What’s a stick like you going to do?” The man sneered, looking the young opposer up and down.  
“You’d be surprised,” he answered with a smirk that angered your attacker.  
“You little shit,” he growled as he landed a punch on the blond man’s face. You yelled and jumped on the back of the attacker, trying to pull him away from the young man.  
“HEY!” A loud voice had you whipping your head up, a handsome brown haired man ran toward the commotion. He grabbed you off the man and quickly punched the man in the face twice.  
“Get the hell out of here, before I call the police!” His voice was strong, filled with anger. You watched as the man scurried away, pushing the blond man out of the way. Immediately you ran to him and cupped his face.  
“Are you okay?” your eyebrows furrowed in concern.  
His blue eyes looked at you and something clicked inside you, he winced when you touched his bruising cheek.  
“Couldn’t be better,” he joked, wincing when you touched his cheek.  
“Listen,” you looked over to the brown haired man. “Give me a minute, to get my things. My apartment is a few blocks away, I have a medical kit at home.”  
Both men nodded and watched you run into the bakery. You clocked out, grabbed your coat and purse; you were afraid the blond man would be gone, so you smiled when he stood there next to the other man.  
“Come on, it’s the least I can do,” you motioned for the two men to follow you., each flanked you at your side.  
“Y-you don’t have to,” the blond mumbled.  
“Come on Steve, let the pretty lady take care of you,” the brown haired man chuckled. Your eyes flew to the blond man, he gave you a small smile.  
“Listen to your smart friend, Steve,” you nudged him lightly. His piercing blue eyes gazed at you, causing warmth to blanket over your body.  
Within a few minutes, the three of you were inside your small basement apartment. You told the two men to make themselves at home, while you went to get your kit. Steve looked to his friend, who was walking around the apartment. There were canvases everywhere, beautifully painted. Steve walked over to a canvas that was leaned against the window, it was a portrait of an older woman; her green eyes were bright and her smile soft. Steve’s hand moved toward the painting, his fingers inched from touching it when you walked in.  
“It’s still wet,” you smiled at Steve and held up the first aide kit. Bucky stood by as you motioned for Steve to take a seat on the blue couch.  
“It’s my mother,” you touched his chin and turned his head slightly. “She passed a few years ago.”  
Steve closed his eyes for a moment, “I’m sorry to hear that.”  
You rubbed gently at his cheek and let out a soft sigh, “Thanks, but I don’t wallow. She taught me better.”  
He smirked, trying to think of something clever to say, but instead remained silent. You took out a cotton ball and dabbled at the blood on his cheek, he winced and you couldn’t help but laugh. Steve’s eyes moved to his friend, who was looking at his watch.  
“Got somewhere to be, Bucky?” he questioned.  
Your eyes shoot over to the man standing, “Barnes? Bucky Barnes?”  
“Guilty,” he smirked.  
“You never called my friend Rose back,” you stated. Steve grinned up at his friend, eager to witness how he would see his way out of this one.  
“Well-” he started but you shook your head.  
“She was so devastated, she ran into the arms of Todd Johnson,” you placed a small band aide on Steve’s face and closed the kit.  
Bucky sighed, “I guess it’s my loss.”  
“Well,” you admitted, “It’s probably my fault, I was suppose to go on that double date she had set up with you. But I don’t like blind dates, they make me nervous and insecure.”  
Steve’s eyes widen to his friend, who smiled like a big goof.  
You looked from Steve to Bucky, “What?”  
“You’re Y/N,” Steve spoke softly.  
“How did you..”  
“I was your blind date,” he confessed quietly, hoping you wouldn’t be disappointed.  
You looked to Bucky for confirmation and he gave you a curt nod.  
“Wow,” you sighed out loudly and reached out for Steve’s hand. “I’m a damn fool.” 

....

The team was back on the aircraft headed back to the States, after completing the mission. Steve was staring out the window, thinking about the day he had met you. The way you looked at him in your small apartment, it had shaken him to his core. And when you asked if he would like to go on a date, he thought you were kidding. You laughed and told him if he didn’t want to, it was fine. Of course he practically jumped out of his seat and told you that he’d love to take you out. He remembered the walk home after he left your apartment with Bucky, he felt like a million bucks. Like the luckiest man alive and he was, because you had loved him in a way no one ever did, or could. The clouds cleared and he watched the world down below him, wondering if what the man had said was true.That you were out there somewhere alive. Guilt betrayed him, when he thought for a moment how maybe he didn’t want to see you. You’d be at least 99 years old now, would you even know who he was? Could he face you, after all this time? Would you be angry?  
“Steve, what should we do? ” Bucky placed a hand on his shoulder.  
“I don’t know Bucky,” he sighed. “How do we know he’s telling the truth?”  
“We don’t, but don’t you think we owe it to Y/N to find out?”  
“You were always on her side,” Steve replied trying to lighten the mood.  
“Yeah, well she was cuter than you,” Bucky smacked Steve on the back playfully.  
“She was amazing,” Steve whispered out, his eyes locked on the Earth down below. He felt determined then, to find out if you truly were alive somewhere. And even if it meant that he’d only get a small amount of time with you, he’d take anything. If it meant seeing your beautiful face again.


	2. Chapter 2

The cool breeze hit Steve’s face as he pulled down on his blue cap and zipped up his jacket. It was the same routine he had followed every Sunday, for a few years now. Started when Tony had retrieved his file from S.H.I.E.L.D and gave it to him. Inside, along with other important papers, was a black and white photograph of one of the best days of his life. You were wearing a simple white dress that came a little past your knees, holding a bouquet of purple tulips. Steve was wearing a black suit, that looked a little too big on him. The two of you were standing in front of city hall, holding hands with big smiles on your faces. The file also included a short summary of how in the summer of 89’, ovarian cancer had taken you from the Earth. Nowhere in the report did it say you remarried or had children, only that you had continued to live in the same basement apartment in Brooklyn until your death.  
Steve had beaten himself for months after reading that, angry at himself for leaving you behind. He’d lie awake on his bed many nights, picturing the lonely life you must have lived. The only way he could get some sleep was to convince himself otherwise. But he’d wake up the next morning with the weight of your loneliness on his shoulders once again. He should have never left you, he should have stayed home.  
You never wanted him to join the army, but respected and admired that he wanted to do his part. But everything had changed the night before Bucky had to ship off to England. That night had changed the course of the future you thought you’d have with Steve.  
....

“Eat up Sgt. Barnes,” you encouraged the handsome man, scooping another helping of mash potatoes on his plate.  
He groaned in pleasure and held a hand to his heart. “A woman after my own heart.”  
Steve shook his head and took a healthy bite of meat loaf. “Watch it, Bucky.”  
“Ah, come on! We all know Y/N’s your girl,” Bucky winked at you. Laughing at his nonsense you felt a pang of sadness seeing the man, who had by extension was like a brother to you, in his uniform ready to go off to war.  
“How are you feeling?” you asked taking a seat next to Steve.  
Bucky grinned ad shrugged nonchalantly, “Ready.”  
“I’ll be ready too, so don’t win the war without me,” Steve reached for a dinner roll, avoiding eye contact with you.  
Your eyes fell to your plate and you could feel Bucky staring at you. “Yeah, well I’ll save a fight or two for you, punk.”  
You knew Steve had spent the last few weeks going to every enlistment center in New York trying to get accepted into the army. You had watched him walk into the apartment everytime, shoulders deflated, but heart undefeated. Although you wanted him to stay home safe, it was important for you to be supportive. And Steve could be stubborn, no determined, when he wanted to. So even though you prayed he’d stay home, each time he left the house to try at another center, you hoped he’d get in, because you believed in him.  
“So a hot date tonight, Buck?” you teased lifting the glass of wine to your lips.  
“It’s my last night in the city for who knows how long, so I made a date with the prettiest girl in Brooklyn.”  
“I’m sorry Buck, you can’t take Y/N out,” Steve smiled at you, reaching down to take your hand. You squeezed it tightly and beamed at Bucky, whose eyes smiled at the pair of you. “You’re out of luck, Sergeant.”  
“I guess I am,” he chuckled wiping his mouth with a light green cloth napkin. He sighed contently and placed the napkin on his empty plate. “Ma’am, this was the best going away dinner a man could ever have.”  
“Ma’am?” you snickered. “What has the army done to you?”  
Steve stood up and started collecting the empty plates, but you placed a hand on his wrist. “I got it, Steve.”  
He leaned down and pressed a kiss on your forehead before turning to his friend. “So where are you headed tonight?”  
Bucky stood up from his seat and started helping you pick up the dishes. “I’m taking my date to the Stark Expo, why don’t you two come along?”  
Thirty minutes later the three of you, along with Bucky’s date Edith, were walking around the Stark Expo. Your eyes widen with Bucky’s, the two of marveled over all the newfound technology, even Steve was having a hoot. He held your hand, letting you pull him along toward the exhibition Howard Stark was leading. When Stark came on stage and started talking, Steve’s eyes had wandered off to an Uncle Sam poster, pointing to an enlistment center nearby. Feeling the need and want to go try his luck once more, he pulled you by the waist into his side.  
“There’s an enlistment center here,” he nodded to the sign. You smiled at his determination and kissed him on the lips.  
“Good luck, soldier,” you tidied up his jacket and rubbed his cheek with a thumb, “When this is done, I’ll meet you there.”  
“Sounds good, beautiful.”  
You watched him fade in the crowd and wished him luck. You turned back to the exhibit and stood next to Bucky as Stark demonstrated his new invention.  
“Your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all!”  
You watched as the show ladies removed the tires from the red car and Stark pressed a button on his control pad. You gasped as the car lifted off the ground.  
“Holy cow,” Bucky muttered.  
“Amazing,” you sputtered out, looking over your shoulder to where the Uncle Sam sign stood. Bucky caught you looking and let out a hard sigh when he realized Steve was gone.  
“He didn’t just leave you, did he?” Bucky’s jaw clenched and he pulled down on his uniform jacket.  
“Buck,” you started, but he had pushed passed you and moved into the crowd. You inhaled deeply and took Edith’s hand. “Come on, let’s go get the fellas.”  
By the time the two of you reached the enlistment center, Bucky and Steve were talking closely. Even from a few yards away, you could see the intensity in Steve’s face. He was telling Bucky how it was, you were sure of it. Telling him how it wasn’t fair that plenty of men were risking their lives and he was doing nothing. You were sure Bucky was trying to talk him out of it, but it would do no good. Steve was adamant on joining the fight and you knew somehow he would. Edith called out to Bucky and started to walk toward the two friends, but you grabbed her by the elbow. “Give them a minute.”  
A wave of relief fell over you as the two men embraced and Bucky started walking toward Edith and you. You said goodnight to Edith and met Bucky half way.  
“He’s a stubborn son of bitch,” your friend shook his head roughly, but a smile appeared on his face.  
“No. He has heart, Buck,” you placed a hand on his shoulder. “Please, be careful out there.”  
His smile faded and he embraced you tightly against his chest. “I will. I’ll miss you two lovebirds. Take care of him.”  
You pulled away and looked him in the eye, “I should say the same to you, that man’s going to be joining you. I bet it.”  
“Ah, well. Then I’ll make sure he’ll get home safely.”  
“You too, okay? You get home safely.” Tears started to form in your eyes and Bucky shook his head.  
“No crying, go on. Steve’s waiting for his girl,” he pressed a kiss on your forehead and took a step forward, but you called out his name.  
“I almost forgot,” you rummaged through your purse and pulled out a small envelope. “Rose asked me to give this to you. She hoped you’d think of her when you’re overseas.”  
Bucky’s eyes widen in joy, he took the envelope and quickly peeked inside. “Oh, wow.”  
“Yeah, oh wow. Guess who had to take the photo?”  
“No!” Bucky laughed, tucking the envelope into his jacket.  
“Yes! So you better take care of that photo.”  
He smirked and made his way to you once more, he gave you a quick hug and walked off with Edith. You made your way over to Steve, who was standing there with his hands in his pockets. He asked if you were okay and you nodded, taking his hand in yours. “I’m going to miss that kid, but not as much as I’ll miss you when you get enlisted.”  
Steve’s blue eyes flickered to you. “If they eventually break down and take me.”  
“They are damn fools if they don’t.”

What you didn’t know was during the argument Steve and Bucky had, an older gentlemen had witnessed the entire exchange. And not just any man. A german scientist named Dr. Abraham Erskine, who had been working on a super soldier serum. He took notice of Steve’s tenacity as he spoke about wanting to fight along with his fellow Americans. A few weeks later, he had gotten in touch with Steve to recruit him into the ‘Strategic Scientific Reserve’ program he was leading.  
“Steve, what if this doesn’t work? What if it goes wrong and you die,” you bellowed out into his arms. He smoothed down your hair as the two of you sat on the blue couch, he wanted to forget the whole thing right then. But deep down, he knew he had to do it.  
“I’ll be fine, I always am,” he lifted your chin making you meet his gaze.  
“I don’t want you to change, I love you as you are,” you placed a hand on his face. “I fell in love with this Steve.”  
“I’m the luckiest man alive for that,” Steve moved his head down to you and pressed a warm kiss on your lips. “But I have to do this.”  
Wiping the tears from your eyes, you playfully pushed your husband away. “You’re lucky I don’t believe in divorce, Rogers.”  
“Lucky me.”  
“I’m going to be there when it happens,” you stated.  
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Steve smiled at you.  
You smirked and pushed back into the couch, pressing a hard kiss on his lips. His hand immediately went to your waist, “I’m a very very lucky guy.”  
His blue eyes beamed at you, a hand went to your face. “I love you, Y/N.”  
“I love you too, Rogers,” you pressed little kisses from his lips to neck. “Now, can we get started on making little kiddos?”  
“We’ve only been married for a few years now,” he laughed running his fingers through your hair.  
“But I know you’d make a great dad, I just know it,” you started to unbuckle his belt.  
“Ma’am, that is my belt you’re unbuckling,” Steve teased.  
“Well, then I’ll just stop,” you pushed off him, trying to hide the smile on your face. Steve’s hands gripped at your waist, using all his strength to pull you back down.  
“Three kids in this apartment,” Steve steadily unbuttoned your dress top. “Might be a little cramped.”  
“We’ll get a bigger apartment, I could never leave this city,” you undid his shirt and revealed his thin frame.  
On your wedding night, it was Steve who was a bit shy. At least at first, until you laid next to him and caressed his chest up and down. You had told him to stop the nonsense, that you had married him because you loved him and that was that. You exact words to him were, “So take me like the man I know you are.” And boy did he.  
“A bigger apartment than, two girls and one boy,” he murmured under your touch.  
You hummed in response and straddled his hips. “Sarah, Ana and Joseph James.”  
“Really?” Steve chuckled in disbelief.  
“After our mothers, your father and of course Bucky,” you slipped the blue dress over your head and tossed it to the floor. Steve marveled at your body, it left him breathless every time.  
“Have I told you how perfect you are?”  
You moved down onto Steve’s body, your hair fell over his face. He lifted his fingers to your face and sighed in content. It never failed. Whenever your eyes set on him, Steve felt like the strongest man alive.  
“Tell me again.”  
“How about I show you?” Steve’s voice came out with strong confidence, making you melt. You moved off him and stood up from the couch, he watched with hungry eyes as you slipped off your silky pink bra. You turned to walk toward the bedroom and shimmied off your matching underskirt, leaving yourself completely bare. Looking over your shoulders, you winked at the panting man on the couch. “Coming?”  
“Lucky man, I’m a lucky man,” Steve muttered under his breath as he jumped off the couch and rushed to the bedroom.  
You laid on the bed as Steve walked in, his blue eyes flickered to your nude body. He fidget with the zipper of his slacks, pushed them off. You sighed softly, anticipation built up inside you. His fingers guided his white boxers off and his knees made indents on the mattress as he made his way to you. His body hoovered over yours, you felt his hardness against your bent knee. You murmured his name, sending chills down his spine. He pressed a kiss on your neck, working his way to your lips. A hand went to your face, another moved down between your legs. He adjusted himself against you, Steve gazed down at you for permission. You breath out a yes, pressed a hand on his back. He took his time, delicately pushed his way into you. He stilled when he was all in and brushed hair from your face. He asked if you were okay and you pulled him down to you, giving your answer. He grinned sweetly and the two of you started to move together.  
This was your favorite part of being with Steve Rogers, he was gentle, loving and always gave his all. And it was always enough, each time. Everytime. Your head dropped into the feathered pillow, you called out his name over and over. His fingers touched every inch of your skin, making you pant like someone who had just ran 25 blocks right through Hell’s Kitchen. His touch entranced you, brought out the vulnerability you hardly showed. You whimpered under him, rising and falling until it was all too much. You begged him to never leave you, tightening your leg around his waist. Steve whispered sweet words into your ear, telling you he’d never leave you. You were his everything, his light. His only home.  
The two of you danced together all night long, until it was too much for Steve. It ended with your bodies entangled and sheets on the ground.. He dipped his head into the crook of your neck and slid his hand into your hair. He gently massaged your scalp and listened to the lulling of your breathing, until the two of you fell into a deep relaxed sleep.

....

Steve stood in front of the iron gate of the cemetery, this time without your purple tulips. A few yards away, he saw Bucky standing next to Nat. To the right, a bulldozer and a few work men. Steve inhaled deeply and made the short walk over to your burial site. Bucky caught Steve walking up from the corner of his eye and turned to face his friend.  
“They were just about to-”  
“I know,” Steve sighed, giving a nod to Natasha. She nudged him lightly and walked over to one of the workers.  
“What if she’s not in there,” Bucky questioned.  
“And what if she is?” Steve replied, crossing his arms against his chest.  
“Which would you prefer?”  
Steve met Bucky’s eyes, thinking long and hard. He wasn’t sure. Apart of him wanted the casket to be empty, so he could have that hope of seeing your face again. The other part of him wanted you to be inside it, because he couldn’t bare the thought of you somewhere alive possibly suffering.  
“I don’t know, Bucky,” Steve confessed, running a hand over his face.  
“Boys,” Natasha called out to them, it was time.  
Bucky patted Steve on the shoulder and the two men walked over to the dug up grave. Steve’s heart pounded rapidly as two of the workers moved down into the pit. One of them looked up to Steve, who nodded for them to continue. He held his breath as the men lifted up the maghony wood coffin lid. Steve noticed the perfectly white lining right away and immediately thought how much you would have hated it. You despised anything that was plain white. If he had been there to chose the color of the lining, he would have gone with a light pale blue or even a soft pink. He knew he was focusing on the wrong thing, but his eyes were afraid to look anywhere else, until he felt a hand on his back. He looked to Bucky, who had a soft smile on his face.  
“It’s empty, Steve. She’s out there somewhere.”


	3. Chapter 3

Steve stood outside the interrogation room hands folded against his chest, trying to keep his breath steady. Natasha thought it would be best if she did the interrogating, so he watched through the double mirrored window in the hallway. Nat sat across from Godric Vogt, the Hydra personnel who claimed to have information on you. Steve’s eyes were fixated on the older gentlemen, who was looking at a photo Natasha had given him.  
“Mr. Vogt, do you know who this is?”  
“Y/N Rogers,” he answered quickly.  
“Where is she?”  
“I-I was never told her whereabouts. I just know she is alive.”  
Nat smiled sweetly, “How do you know that?”  
The man squirmed in his seat, his eyes flew to the mirror and back to his interrogator. “After Captain America infiltrated the Hydra fortress and freed Bucky, she was taken.”  
“Who took her? And why?”  
He wiped the sweat from his forehead and cleared his throat. “From what I read in the reports, the orders were given by Johann Schmidt. He wanted something as leverage over Rogers.”  
“Do you know when they took her?” Nat questioned calmly.  
Godric shifted in his seat and shook his head. “That’s all I know.”  
“But you said she was alive.”  
“There were rumors that she had escaped, that someone helped her. That was decades ago.”  
“She’d be nearly 100 years old now, how do you know she’s still alive?” Nat contended cooly.  
“Time is not a factor for Hydra, we know our way around it.”  
Steve stilled at Godric’s words, his chest tighten.   
“I see. But who helped her, Mr. Vogt?” Nat leaned forward and placed her hands on the metal table.  
He cleared his throat and shrugged. “I don’t know.”  
Steve clenched his jaw, anger fueled his veins. They had taken you, when he was off fighting. Hydra had ripped you away from your safe life and did god knows what to you. He thought of Bucky and everything Hydra had done to him. What if you had be dealt the same fate?  
An overwhelming sense of guilt and fiery came over the man as stormed into the room and right to Godric. Steve clutched at his collar, raising the startled German from the chair and slamming him against the wall. “You son of a bitch! Where is she!”  
Nat barked at her friend to release the prisoner, but her words fell on deaf ears. Godric stammered through his teeth that he didn’t know where you were, Steve pushed him further into the wall. It was then that he felt a hard hand on his shoulder pulling him from the man, but his fingers grasped tighter at Godric’s collar. Bucky cursed as he unclutched Steve’s fingers from the cloth and dragged him right out of the room, throwing him against the hallway wall. Nat sent Steve a warning glare before shutting the door. Bucky ran a hand through his hair and pointed a titanium finger at Steve. “You need to control yourself.”  
“He knows where she’s at, he’s trying to save his own ass.”  
“Nat will get the information out of him, but you need to get some fresh air,” Bucky pleaded with his friend, softening his stern expression.  
“Look what they did to you, Buck! What if they did the same to her? What if she’s being tortured, what if she’s dying!” Steve choked on his words, fighting back tears.  
Bucky reached out to his friend, but Steve shook him off. Bucky watched as he walked toward the elevator. Steve looked over his shoulder and waved his friend off. “I’m fine. You’re right, I need some fresh air.”  
...  
Steve made his way to the roof of the Tower and hung over the edge of the roof. He watched the taxi cabs, people and life go on by. The sounds of the city hustling down below brought him some comfort, but his mind was driving down a busy street. He pulled out his wallet and took out a black and white photo, still crisped after all these years. It was of you, taken right before he had left for the ‘Strategic Scientific Reserve’ program. A close up of your face, smiling brightly at the camera. Steve had it tucked into his military helmet everyday he was away from you and when he was found frozen, he still had it tucked inside his Captain America suit. He rubbed his thumb against your face and closed his eyes. If he concentrated hard enough, he could still hear your voice. The softness edged with a playful tone. There were times when he’d hear someone laughing and it almost sounded like you, but it never came close to the real thing. Your laughter was infectious, loud and unapologetic. It had him going every time.  
Steve cursed under his breath, a heavy feeling of guilt weighed him down. If he had just stayed home, forgot about joining the army and putting his life on the line. The two of you could have had a happy life together, with three kids. Sarah, Ana and Joseph James, JJ for short. A bigger apartment in Brooklyn, Sunday’s after church the whole family would go to the park. The kids would grow up and leave home, the two of you would grow gray together. And then the grandchildren would come and he would see you in their eyes, hear you in their laughs. It would have be a perfect life. A life he freely gave away, all because he had a need. A need to fight the good fight. He gazed down at your face and realized how truly big the price he had paid was.

“Steve!” Bucky’s voice came from behind him and Steve was grateful for the distraction. He looked over his shoulder to see Bucky waving him over. Steve jogged toward the rooftop exit and asked what happened with Godric.  
“He’s claiming that he doesn’t know who might have helped Y/N escape. But Nat’s thinking the others we captured that day might. She’s gonna make arrangements to get her hands on them. But other then that, we got nothing.”  
“Nothing,” Steve repeated following Buck into the elevator. “So where do we go from here?”  
“Not sure, just have to wait and see what they say.” Bucky shrugged lightly and gave his friend an encouraging smile.  
“I guess, but there has to be somewhere we can look. Anything would help.” Steve replied mindlessly. He looked down at the photo in his hand, Bucky’s eyes followed his gaze. He couldn’t help but smile at your face, bringing his eyes back up to Steve.  
“She was a looker, you got lucky there pal.”  
Steve chuckled and tucked the photo back into his wallet. “I still don’t know what she saw in me back then.”  
“She loved you for you, Steve. I saw it that day she cleaned you up after that fight.” Bucky leaned against the elevator wall and smirked. “Hey remember that one time I convinced her to throw that New Year’s Eve party in 42’?”  
“41’,” Steve corrected his friend with a smile, letting the memory wash over him. “Man, that small apartment was wrecked. She was so mad at you.”  
“I know,” Bucky shook his head, remembering the crowded apartment and vaguely the cute girl he was with that night.  
...  
 __  
“5…4…3…2…1!”  
The entire apartment roared along with the rest of Brooklyn. The small space was filled with a collective cheers, hoots and kissing. Your lips were on your husband’s, who smiled against your mouth. He kissed you tenderly and pulled away slowly, “Happy New Year, beautiful.”  
“Happy New Year, Steve,” you kissed him again. This time with more passion, nearly knocking the man off his feet.  
“Get a room!” Bucky yelled from the opposite end of the room, his arm was around a beautiful redhead. You cupped Steve’s face, never wanting to let go. He pulled you closer by the waist and murmured ‘I love you’ in between kisses. Finally, when breathing became a factor, the two of you parted. Steve’s face was red and flushed, giving you a good laugh.  
“What a great way to start a new year,” he whistled.  
“Well, it’s our first New Year as husband and wife,” you mused fixing his collar. “So darling husband of mine, what do you wish for this year?”  
As Steve took a moment to think, Bucky had gone over to the Stratford radio -Steve had saved up the $28.95 and bought it for you as a surprise- and turned up the volume dial.  
“Wishing everyone a safe and Happy New Year! This one goes out to the lovebirds out there! Here’s the sensational Billie Holiday with ‘All of Me’.”  
The entire apartment was filled with people, friends of yours, Steve’s and mostly Bucky’s. The night felt promising and carefree. The music flowed through the place and a few couples made their way to the center of the living room.  
“I know what I want,” Steve finally answered. He offered his hand to you, “A dance with my best girl.”  
“It would be my pleasure,” you grinned taking his hand. He placed both of his hands on your waist and you slipped your hands around his neck. The two of you moved slowly to the music, Steve laughed as he swayed cluelessly, letting you take the lead. “It’s better that way,” he admitted.  
“This is going to be a good year, I feel it,” you professed to Steve.  
“I didn’t know I was married to a psychic,” Steve chuckled, pressing a soft gentle kiss on your lips. You hummed out an exhale when he moved away. “Optimistic, not psychic.”  
“Ah, I see.”  
“You watch Rogers, it’s going to be amazing.”  
Steve’s blue eyes watched the smile form on your face, the way your lips pursed in excitement. His heart pounded away and he suddenly felt it too. The optimism of a new year, of the endless possibilities. Anything could happen, good or bad. But somehow with you in his arms swaying to the sweet voice of Billie, he knew everything would be just fine.   
....  
“She made me clean the whole damn place,” Bucky’s laugh jerked Steve away from that New Year’s Eve night.  
The whole damn place.  
Steve’s eyes jerked to his friend, clarity washed over him. “I think I know where to start looking.”  
Confusion gripped Bucky for just a brief moment, before his eyes widen and he exhaled sharply. “Brooklyn.”  
If Steve was going to find you, he had to start from the beginning. He had to go back to the place they had taken you from, the home the two of you shared.  
“Brooklyn,” Steve affirmed with a smirk. “We need to go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr: @imamotherfuckingstar-lord


End file.
